Riss Mediation
What “Fair” Means in Mediation (It’s Not Always “Equal”)
One of the most common phrases heard in mediation is, “I just want what’s fair.” It sounds simple enough. But as mediation unfolds, participants often discover that their definitions of fair are very different. In fact, one of the most important lessons of mediation is that fair does not always mean equal. When people think… Read More
Five Things I’ve Learned From Watching Hundreds of Divorces
After watching hundreds of divorces unfold over the years, I’ve come to appreciate a simple truth: divorce is rarely just a legal process. It’s a deeply human experience. It involves grief, fear, hope, disappointment, and sometimes profound growth. While every family is different, certain patterns appear again and again. People often enter the process believing… Read More
What Is a Community Property State?
When a couple gets married, they often share a life together, including their income, assets, and financial responsibilities. But what happens if the marriage ends through divorce or the death of a spouse? The answer depends, in part, on whether the couple lives in a community property state. Understanding community property laws can help married… Read More
Blended Families: Unique Challenges in Mediation
Blended families are increasingly common, bringing together parents, children, stepparents, and sometimes half-siblings into one household. While these families can create loving and supportive environments, they also face unique challenges that can lead to conflict and uncertainty. When disagreements arise, mediation offers a constructive way to address concerns, improve communication, and develop practical solutions that… Read More
Why Is Anger So Exhausting?
Anger is one of the most powerful emotions we experience. In the moment, it can feel energizing—like a surge of heat and intensity that pushes you to react, defend yourself, or take action. But once it passes, many people are left feeling drained, foggy, and emotionally depleted. That sharp contrast raises an important question: why… Read More
Confidentiality in Mediation
When families come to the mediation table, they often share things they would never say in a courtroom — fears about parenting, financial struggles, old grievances, and genuine hopes for the future. What makes that openness possible? In large part, it comes down to one foundational promise: confidentiality. As a family mediator, confidentiality is one… Read More
Pet Custody in Divorce
Divorce can be one of life’s most emotionally challenging experiences, and for many couples, deciding what happens to a beloved pet can be just as difficult as dividing other assets. As pets increasingly become cherished family members, the issue of pet custody in divorce is gaining more attention in courts and mediation rooms alike. Understanding… Read More
How Poor Listening Creates Conflict
Conflict is often blamed on differences—different opinions, different priorities, different personalities. But in reality, conflict usually doesn’t begin with disagreement. It begins with disconnection. More specifically, it begins when people feel they are not being heard. Poor listening is one of the most common, yet least recognized, drivers of conflict in both personal and professional… Read More
How to Prepare Emotionally for Divorce Mediation
Divorce mediation is often seen as a more peaceful, cost-effective alternative to litigation—but that doesn’t mean it’s emotionally easy. Sitting down with your spouse to discuss the end of your marriage and the future of your family can stir up a wide range of feelings, from grief and anger to anxiety and relief. Preparing yourself… Read More
Why Winning in Divorce Isn’t the Goal
When people begin the divorce process, they may think, “I just want to take everything from him,” or “She is not going to get anything she wants.” But divorce isn’t a competition—and treating it like one often leads to outcomes that are more damaging than beneficial. In reality, the goal of divorce should not be… Read More
Should Coparents Support Each Other’s Child Discipline?
Co-parenting after separation or divorce can be challenging, especially when it comes to discipline. Differences in parenting styles, emotional history, and communication gaps can easily lead to inconsistency. Yet one of the most powerful gifts co-parents can give their children is a united approach to boundaries and expectations. Supporting each other’s discipline doesn’t mean always… Read More
Can I Approve My Ex’s New Partner Before They Meet Our Kids?
Navigating co-parenting after divorce or separation can be challenging—especially when a former partner begins a new relationship. A common concern many parents express is: “Can I Approve My Ex’s New Partner Before They Meet Our Kids?” While this feeling is completely understandable, it’s important to explore what this request really means, how it affects co-parenting… Read More
How Do I Tell My Spouse I Want a Divorce?
Deciding to end a marriage is one of the most emotionally complex decisions a person can make. Even when you’re certain divorce is the right path, how you start the conversation can shape everything that follows—your emotional well‑being, your spouse’s response, and the tone of any future co‑parenting or negotiations. When considering how to tell… Read More
Should I Hire a Mediator or a Lawyer for My Divorce?
If you are facing divorce, one of the most important decisions you will make is whether to work with a divorce mediator or a divorce lawyer. Many people automatically assume they need attorneys and court hearings, but divorce can be handled in more than one way. Understanding the difference between divorce mediation and traditional litigation… Read More
Should I Let My Child Bring Items That I Buy to the Other Parent’s Home?
One of the most common—and emotionally charged—co‑parenting questions after separation or divorce is this: Should I let my child bring items I buy to the other parent’s home? Whether it’s clothing, school supplies, toys, electronics, or comfort items, disputes over children’s belongings can quickly escalate into conflict. While this issue may seem minor, it often… Read More
Should My Child Have a Birthday Party with Each Parent?
When parents are separated or divorced, children’s birthdays often bring up complicated parenting questions. One of the most common is: Should my child have a birthday party with each parent? This is a frequent concern in co‑parenting and custody arrangements, and there is no one‑size‑fits‑all answer. The best decision depends on your child’s emotional needs,… Read More
How Parents’ Divorce Affects Adult Children
When parents divorce later in life, the assumption is often that their children—now adults—will be unaffected. After all, they’re grown, independent, and no longer living at home. Yet research and clinical experience consistently show that parents’ divorce has a deep emotional impact on adult children, even decades after childhood. For many grown children, a parents’… Read More
The Importance of Being Civil With Your Coparent
Why Civility in Co‑Parenting Matters Children Feel More Secure When Parents Cooperate Children thrive when they sense stability between their parents. Civility—calm communication, respectful language, and predictable behavior—helps kids feel emotionally safe. They’re spared the pressure of choosing sides and can maintain strong, healthy relationships with both parents. Civility Reduces Parental… Read More
What Children Often Wish Parents Understood During Separation
Separation is challenging for everyone involved, but children often experience it in ways they struggle to put into words. While adults are navigating decisions, logistics, and emotions, kids are quietly working through their own fears, questions, and hopes. Understanding what children commonly wish their parents knew can help families move through separation with greater empathy,… Read More
Creating a Parenting Plan That Grows With Your Kids
A parenting plan shouldn’t be a fixed document. As children grow, their emotional, social, and developmental needs evolve—often quickly. What works well for a toddler may not support a child in elementary school, and what serves a pre‑teen may feel restrictive to a teenager. Creating a parenting plan that grows with your kids helps your… Read More
I Am Now a Single Parent. What Does That Mean?
Becoming a single parent is a major shift, whether it follows divorce, separation, or an unexpected life change. Many parents in this situation wonder what single parenting really involves, how to adjust to a new family structure, and how to support their children through transitions. Understanding what this stage means can help you build stability,… Read More
Should I Live Close to My Coparent?
Deciding where to live after a separation or divorce is rarely simple. Between work schedules, housing costs, and personal preferences, choosing a location can feel overwhelming. But one factor many parents overlook—yet often benefits the entire family—is living close to your coparent. Proximity isn’t just about convenience; it can dramatically improve your coparenting relationship and… Read More
Should I Ask My Child Which Parent They Want to Live With?
While it may seem compassionate to involve your child in the conversation, family therapists and child development experts generally agree: directly asking a child to choose between parents can cause emotional harm, confusion, and long-lasting stress. This article explains why that question can be damaging, what children should be asked instead, and how to incorporate… Read More
Getting Along With Your Co‑Parent’s New Significant Other
Introduction: Why Your Co‑Parent’s New Partner Matters – When your co‑parent introduces a new significant other, it can create unexpected stress and emotional challenges. But building a respectful relationship with this new partner is an important part of healthy co‑parenting and helps create consistency and stability for your child. This article explores practical strategies for… Read More
Getting Over the Anger You Feel Toward Your Ex
Anger after a breakup is incredibly common — but it can also be incredibly draining. Whether the relationship ended suddenly, painfully, or in a way that still feels unresolved, lingering resentment creates emotional weight that follows you from day to day. If you’ve been searching for how to get over anger toward an ex, how… Read More
When Should My Kids Meet My New Significant Other?
Introducing your new significant other to your children is an important milestone—especially when you’re co‑parenting after separation or divorce. The timing and approach influence not only your child’s emotional well‑being but also your co‑parenting dynamic. While there is no perfect formula, there are evidence-informed guidelines that help families make this transition smoothly and respectfully. 1.… Read More
I’m Getting Divorced – Am I In Financial Trouble?
Divorce brings emotional stress, logistical changes, and—often—serious financial questions. One of the most common is: “Am I in financial trouble because I’m getting divorced?” The honest answer: Not automatically. But divorce will reshape your financial life, and understanding that shift early is the key to stability and confidence. This guide breaks down the most important… Read More
I’m Getting Divorced—Should I Get My Young Children Into Therapy?
Divorce can feel overwhelming—for you and for your children. If you’re going through this transition, you may be wondering: “Should my young children see a therapist during or after the divorce?” This is one of the most common questions parents ask. The good news? You’re already on the right path simply by thinking about your… Read More
How to Tell Your Children You’re Separating
Telling your children that you’re separating is one of the most emotional moments a parent can face. Whether your breakup is peaceful or high‑conflict, knowing how to tell kids about divorce or separation in an age‑appropriate way can ease anxiety, reduce confusion, and support healthy long‑term adjustment. This guide offers practical, developmentally informed strategies to… Read More
Is Divorce Always Bad for the Kids?
For decades, many parents have carried a heavy fear: “If we divorce, we’ll damage our children.” It’s an understandable worry. Divorce is a major life transition, and children feel those shifts deeply. But the idea that divorce is always harmful to kids is a myth—one that often keeps families stuck in painful, high‑conflict situations… Read More
Knowing When It’s Time to Call It Quits
Let me say something right out of the gate. Only you can make this decision. Not your friends. Not family. Only you. Deciding to end a marriage is one of the most painful and complicated choices a person can face. Most couples don’t walk away suddenly; they arrive at this crossroads after years of trying,… Read More